How to Leave a Text Message Conversation

Is it live, or is it asynchronous?

Signing off from a text conversation gracefully is more fraught than ending either a real-time phone or video call or an email, because text messaging is an unusual communications medium.

Here’s why: A text dialog can be either real-time (like a call), asynchronous (like an email), or both at once. One person might want the conversation to be real-time, while the other doesn’t have the inclination to volley messages back and forth like it’s a phone call; they might be busy and prefer that the conversation roll out between moments of their life, like an email.

The message thread between two people can vacillate between the two modes, sometimes seamlessly, over time.

So how does one get out of a real-time message thread that could go on and on? Do you write, “Goodbye?” Do you ghost the conversation and just not respond when you’re done with it? Or do you try to justify your escape, maybe with a little lie, like, “I have a meeting now, text you later?”

Because texts are half letter and half call, we need a way to signal a farewell that is half-way between the two. If only there was some sort of symbol that says, “I acknowledge receipt of your last message, but for now I am leaving this conversation and I bid you a friendly adieu.”

Fortunately, we have precisely such a thing. A thumbs-up emoji, 👍, is great for this purpose. In some intimate dialogs, you might use a heart, ❤️. These little acknowledgments are often enough to politely signal the end of a casual dialog.

For the time being.

For more Tech Etiquette, see Caller Calls Back.