First Contact: When to Call and When to Text
What’s the right way to initiate connect with someone you don’t know?
You want to reach someone new to you. Should you phone? Text? Email?
All the different options say something to the receiver even before you put content in your message. Let’s review.
First, you have your holy trinity of main options: Email, text, and calling.
Email is generally good for starting or following up on a businesslike interaction. For example, if you met someone in a business or educational setting and have a question, send an email.
Text, SMS, iMessage, WhatsApp, etc.
Text is the right way to follow up after a first date or a brief social encounter.
Increasingly, when you meet someone in a business setting, you may only get their phone number or text message address. If so, it’s acceptable to reach out that way to make first electronic contact.
Phone, Facetime, and real-time services where you can “call” the other person
Nope. Not for First Contact. We don’t call strangers for real-time communications unannounced anymore, unless it’s an emergency (to them). To make contact, use an asynchronous, text-based medium to ask if a live call is ok, or to schedule one.
If the person to whom you’re reaching has actually said, “Call me anytime,” then take them at their word. But note that “calling” in that context generally means a voice call. Making a video call is not appropriate for first contact with a person you don’t know, even if they’ve invited you to “call.”
Of course, these aren’t the only ways to connect with someone new…
This is how you make the first move if you’re trying to hire someone or want their business… and you only know them from a LinkedIn profile. LinkedIn, between people who don’t know each other, is transactional. If you have someone’s email address, you might want to use that instead.
Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and other social broadcast platforms
On Twitter and similar platforms, you can send private feedback — a “direct message” — to a public post. In some cases you can also make first contact to a public person who is active on that platform, without attaching your message to a particular post. Not all account users allow you to private-message them if you’re not already in communication, however.
Broadcast accounts for notable public personalities often have handlers or social media professionals running them. Your personal outreach may not be one-to-one.
And be sure you know the difference between private messaging and sending a reply that’s visible to everyone.
This is how you connect to extended family, school friends from back in the day, and old flames. But note that while you can send a message to anyone on Facebook, if you’re not “friends” on the platform, your messages will go to a separate inbox, which many people never check.
Snapchat
I’m told Snapchat is best for “discreet” connections and hookups.
Slack, Microsoft Teams, and other group chat tools
Team chat is great for connecting with another employee where you work. But check the presence or last-active indicator, if possible, before you try to connect, to make sure the intended recipient actually uses the platform.
The presence indicator on some systems (such as Webex) might also tell you if the person is in a meeting or giving a presentation. If so, you might want to wait until they’re not occupied.
Also, attempt to make your first connection during work hours.
Telegram and Signal
This is how you reach out to a reporter with a dangerous news tip, or you need to evade snooping for other reasons.
Final Tip: Respond in kind
If someone new to you sends you an email, respond in email. If they text you, text them back. It’s good etiquette to keep a dialog on the same platform. That maintains the tone of the messages, and keeps the content in one place too.
However, if you or the person you’re communicating with really does want to move the conversation (commonly, from LinkedIn to Email), move the conversation immediately and completely; don’t try to keep it going in both places at once.
